


Man Up!

by DarthLordDory



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Fluff and Crack, Hux Has No Chill, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Mistaken Identity, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, anniversary party crashers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthLordDory/pseuds/DarthLordDory
Summary: Right Time, right place, wrong date.Kylo is accidentally mistaken for a gorgeous red head’s blind date, and he decides to roll with it.Shenanigans Include: Drinking, Bowling, Arguing, flirting, Bar fights, A car chase(?), drunken house parties, Party Crashing, Sex theories, some Incest Jokes, and some Ass Grabbing.*Heavily based on the movie with a few changes that are fitting of our space trash boyfriends. You're Welcome.Please enjoy!





	1. The Train Station

**Author's Note:**

> Man Up! Is one of my all time favorite movies, if you have not seen it, you are missing out. I do not own the movie, please support the official release.

Kylo was going to find the little fucker.

That piece of shit actually left him that piece of shit self-help book and bookmarked a chapter called “Your attitude is ruining your life (and everyone else’s)”.

He was going to kill him.

He didn’t want to go to him parents’ 40th anniversary. He hated taking the Amtrak all the way to Chicago; it was uncomfortable, full of crying kids, and long. It was only because his kid sister guilt tripped him that he was going.

He was already in a foul mood when he got on the train, all he wanted to do was pull out his laptop and watch Wall street or Silence of the Lambs till he fell asleep, but this little shit, this short, slick hair, scrawny little shit who was sitting beside him tapped him on the shoulder and recommended this self-help book, as if he was doing him a great favor. He claimed it was as good as the Da Vinci Code, like they were actually good books! He was going to meet this blind date in Chicago, as if those ever worked, and was going to identify the poor bastard through the book. Kylo was done talking, told the shrimp off, and had actually gotten to sleep when the train jerked him awake. It was his stop, the shrimp had left, and he had found the book left in front of him.

He was going to kill him.

He grabbed his messenger bag and the stupid book and took off after him. There was a crowd of people going into the station, and then there was another crowd in the station. He pushed his way through it all and ran through the main passage. He was in Union station’s main lobby and was scanning the crowds. He continued to push his way through the crowds, feeling really frustrated and out of breath.

“Where the fuck is he?”

“I apologize; I did not intend to arrive so late.”

Kylo whirled around, and who he saw took his breath away. The man was tall, only two inches shorter than Kylo, and he was gorgeous. His hair was a stunning red gelled back in a charming formal fashion. His suit was a deep blue, almost black, with a white dress shirt and dark red tie. His coast was a dark grey wool and matched that scarf he had elegantly draped across his shoulders. His eyes were intoxicating, a beautiful mix of green and blue, reflecting from the suit. His small, amiable smile punched Kylo in the gut and knocked the wind out of him.

“Did I keep you waiting long, Ben?”

Kylo felt blood rush to his face. His mind began to run a thousand miles an hour. How could such a sexy and beautiful man know his name? He usually felt appalled when people use that name, yet right then he was alright tattooing that name to his forehead if that meant this too-good-to-be-true-I-mean-are-you-photoshopped-from-my-dreams-and-porn-history man kept talking to him.

“You do prefer Ben, correct? Poe told me that you felt Mitaka was too formal, but I can call you Benjamin if you would like.” 

Kylo opened his mouth but no sound came out. The redhead turned and gestured “Again, sorry for the wait. Some idiot threw themselves onto the tracks again, not that I care, but the lunatic caused so many delays.” He gave a small laugh.

Kylo couldn’t talk, he couldn’t take his eyes off him. He knew he was staring and that he should say something, but the redhead kept beating him to it.

“Also, what a creative way to find each other.” He pulled the self-help book out of his brief case. “Six Billion People and You. Poe gave you your copy too, right? He can be a little much sometimes, but he is a good friend.”

Finally, it all clicked in Kylo’s head. The little shit from the train. The book. The blind date. Kylo looked at the incriminating book in his hand like it was a third arm.

The man cocked his head. “Usually when one speaks to another person there is an exchange of some sort, a qui-por-qou, if you will.”

Kylo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.

The man returned his smile. “So, what are you waiting for?”

Kylo took a deep breath “…You. I-I was waiting for you.”

The redhead smiled again, and Kylo felt his knees go weak. “Perfect, then let’s get going. How do you feel about a beer and a stroll along Navy Pier?”

*** * *** * *** * ***

Kylo was grateful for the drink, it helped him ease into his ‘role’. Apparently, Ben was a 24-year-old tri-athlete who worked in the city, whatever that meant. He managed to just mumble over himself as the man made small talk.

“Well, Poe did not tell me more than that, to be honest.”

“Uh, yeah, same.” Kylo mumbled.

“But, I trust him. If he says we have things in common, then it is worth a try, wouldn’t you say?”

He gave another charming smile and Kylo swooned. “Yeah.”

Hux went into one of the bars and came back with two more beers, he then led them over to a table by the lake.

Kylo sat down and took the beer the man offered him. “How much? I can cover-“

“Please, it’s on me.” The man took a quick swig. “Ah, I’m sorry about Michael.”

Kylo almost chocked on his drink. “What?”

Hux nodded. “Sorry, Poe did tell me about that. What a massive cock.” Hux spat the words. “I can’t believe he would just cheat on you like that. You were together for 3 years, was it?”

Kylo frowned “Uh, yeah, it was…hard.”

Hux nodded. “I know. Brendol left me over a year ago. At least you two didn’t get married. The toad took half my savings but I got to keep the condo.”

Kylo narrowed his eyebrows “You are…divorced?”

“And much happier for it, yes.”

Kylo laughed. He liked how straightforward the man was, and his charming way of speaking.   
The man laughed and began again. “But you know, that is all done and over with. Besides, what does it say in Six Billion People and You?” 

Kylo took a chance and laughed “Fuck the past?”

The man almost spit out his drink. He swallowed and smirked. “I’ll drink to that.”

They toasted and finished their beers. The man stood and took Kylo’s empty bottle. Kylo stood as the man went to throw away their bottles and came back. Suddenly Kylo’s phone went off and he frantically dug around his pockets to find it. When he finally found it he saw Rey’s face smiling at him. He groaned. He was supposed to call her when he arrived, and he had promised to show up early to set up. Now she was worried and calling him.

“Oh no.” The redhead leaned over, pressing against Kylo’s shoulder as he also looked at the screen. “Is that your escape call? I am not doing so poorly, am I? Here, I will take care of this.”

He took Kylo’s phone and answered it. “Yes, hello Caller. We have met and are having a rather fine time, but thank you for checking in on us. Now, we will both be continuing our outing, and as I am not a psycho-path, you can rest assured no harm will come to him. We will now both be turning off our phones, and continue enjoying our evening. He will call you later with all the grueling details of tonight’s events.” 

He then promptly turned off Kylo’s phone and then his own. “There, no distractions.”

Usually, Kylo would have punched the guy in his face. Kylo was half way fuming from the man taking his phone, answering it, talking to Rey that way, and turning his phone off, when the man seamlessly pulled his scarf off and wrapped it around Kylo. Again, Kylo was frozen and speechless, and he found he couldn’t hate it.

“There, it got rather chilly didn’t it?” He tied the knott tight and let his hand linger on Kylo’s shoulder. “We can’t very well stay outside. How do you feel about going downtown? I have a friend who owns a bar, very nice atmosphere and drinks. We can talk some more, get a couple of shots and such, if you’d like?”

“yea,” Kylo couldn’t out fast enough. “I’d like that.”

*** * *** * *** * ***

“Hey Hux!”

Kylo watched as a girl with a brunet bun on her head came by them at the bar, and patted ‘Hux’ on the shoulder.

“Evening” He nodded with a smile.

30 seconds later another waiter passed them by and slapped Hux on the back. “You shouldn’t be here!” he joked as he passed by. “Does she know?”

“No and it will stay that way.” Hux glared after the waiter who responded with a laugh.

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “You come here often.”

“I’ve known the owner since college, so I support her by coming here.” He waved at the bar tender. “Two of my regulars to start.” The bartender smiled back at him and began pouring them two shots.

They toasted and took their shots. The Tequila was warm as it washed down his throat and into his stomach, and Kylo chuckled as Hux turned a little red.

Hux felt his cheeks, and smiled sheepishly. “I have tolerance, but no control on my flushing I’m afraid.”

Kylo grinned “I wouldn’t worry about it; it makes you look cute.” 

Hux shot him a glare. “I am not cute. I am intimidating.”

Kylo laughed loudly and Hux tapped the table for another round. As it arrived Hux pulled out a pocket notebook.

“Before we start these, let’s exchange the lists you recommended.”

“Lists?” Kylo stared as Hux opened his notebook and flipped the pages.

“It’s a fine idea, to get to know each other more.”

“Yeah,” Kylo said as he skimmed what was on Hux’s page. It was some sort of list of ‘favorites’. Kylo started to rummage through his bag and he pulled out a notebook he used for notes. He flipped to a list he made for the trip. Hux put his notebook in front of Kylo and took his.

Hux began to read Kylo’s. “Now let’s see here…’Be friendlier’,”

Kylo internally groaned. Rey had forced him to write some mantras for the party, so be more social for his parents’ sake. He was so embarrassed he swore he was going to die. 

“‘Smile more’,” Hux looked at Kylo a little puzzled. “’Read about the ‘Force’’?”

“It’s a band.” Kylo blurted “they’re…new.”

He cursed himself, he forgot that he had written down some other things too.

Hux narrowed his eyebrows and nodded. ‘Ah, yes, of course.”

“They’re very fresh and young.” Kylo tried to look calm as he skimmed Hux’s list. “They’re, uh, my favorite band.”

Hux smiled “Yes, I think I’ve heard of them-“

“Oh this is cool,” Kylo interrupted “I also like spaghetti Bolognese. I love Italian food.”

Hux smiled. “It’s my guilty pleasure.”

“Mine too,” Kylo grinned widely as he continued to look at Hux’s list. His eyes stopped towards the top. 

“Armitage Hux?”

Hux groaned “Please, take pity on me and never call me that, I loathe it.”

Kylo laughed. Another round of drinks came and Hux just as automatically paid for the drinks as he did before. Kylo felt his heart clench. He was having a great time. One of the best times he can remember in a long time. He glanced over to Hux, who smiled, his charm just as potent as the first time he saw him. Hux offered him the new drink.

He liked Hux. He really did. Kylo bit his lip and put his drink down. 

“Hux, I have a confession to make.”

“So do I, Ben,” Hux also put his drink down“and if you do not mind I will go first.”

Kylo felt his stomach drop but he nodded and turned to face Hux.

Hux turned and looked Kylo in the eyes. “I’m sorry, but I have never heard of ‘The Force’.”

Kylo felt his jaw drop. “Huh?”

“I’m sorry. I just want to be honest with you, honesty is so important.”

“I agree,” Kylo said, feeling a little more confident “So I need to tell you-“ 

“I know I am quite older than you,” Hux said as he put a hand on Kylo’s “and that I am so engrossed in my work I have no idea what is popular today, but I did not want you to see me as someone too, well, boring for you. However, I feel that we have a genuine connection, Ben, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Kylo laughed, relief and guilt filling him.

“I think this connection is more important than if these lists match.” Hux gestured to the notebooks. “It is an excellent idea for breaking the ice, and I thank you, but there is more to it than if we both like the same food. I am really enjoying your company, Ben, and I simply want to get to know you better.... you have been so patient with me. Thank you for that. Wherever we end up tonight, I am so glad I got to meet you.

“Oh…” Kylo sighed, and he knew he was done for.

Hux looked sadly at the bar. “I do not know why I brought you here. It was stupid; we should go someplace else. Poe mentioned you like Bowling?”

Kylo grinned and leaned forward, eager to make Hux stop looking like that, “I love bowling; I am lethal at it.” 

Sure enough, Hux smiled again and Kylo melted. “Then, shall we finish this last shot and hit the lanes?”

Hux raised his glass and looked almost a little shy, as if Kylo could in a million years refuse him. 

Kylo forced a smile and swallowed his confession down. “Ok.”


	2. The Bowling Alley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S STILL ALIVE BITCHES!?
> 
> Yeeeaaahhhhh I finished this weeks ago but just didn't post cuz I am actual trash. Here is the complete series, hope you all love it~~~

They had started out civil. One upping each other as they hit strike after strike. Hux would gracefully aim and score and then elegantly present the lane to Kylo. Kylo would do flashy and difficult moves and still get strikes. Hux began to get serious and do professional moves. At one point spares weren’t even an option any more as the two of them proceeded to destroy one another through perfect consecutive strikes and shows of creativity and talent.

However, three beers in each had Kylo loud and daring. He crawled on all fours up to the lane, in slow and enticing movements as he made sure to wave his ass as Hux. He took his ball and got a strike while on his knees. He let out a triumphant laugh, landing on his hands again, and he threw his head back and smirked evilly as he wiggled his ass at Hux. Hux attempted to cover his mouth.

He wasn’t laughing, he wasn’t blushing, he had too much to drink and he absolutely did not find Ben charming and sexy.

Hux then proceeded to walk up to kylo, who had gotten on his knees again, and pushed down on Kylo’s shoulder. Kylo then sat down with his long legs sprawled out, and Hux sat down directly behind him. Kylo laughed as Hux took another ball and used Kylo’s strong hands to aim and get another strike.

They then decided to ignore the rules altogether and go crazy. Kylo started to bowl two balls at a time, and Hux actually began to lie on the lane to shoot and would roll over in a triumphant poses. Kylo would lie next to him a few times so they could shoot together. Hux even dragged Kylo off the lanes when he refused to leave.

They eventually finished their games and put on their coats to go.

“I feel hustled.” Hux said as they turned in their shoes.

“You’re not used to losing?” Kylo smirked as he stood behind Hux. Kylo leaned against the counter with one hand, and handed in his shoes with the other so that he had his arms on either side of Hux and had him pinned to the counter.

Hux turned and faced Kylo, staring him down. “No, not really, if we can even say I lost.” He took his scarf from around his neck and put it on Kylo again, tying it tightly for him. “We did abandon the rules all together at one point.”

“Yeah, but it was the funniest and sexiest game I’ve ever played.”

“Likewise,” Hux said as he pulled Kylo’s scarf to lower Kylo’s face to his.

“perhaps we can continue this trend?”

Kylo felt his cock twitch. “You got it, babe. Just give me a minute, I’m gonna run to the restroom.”

“Very well,” Hux let go of his scarf “Then I will wait here and plan where we’ll go next.”

“Anywhere you want, babe, as long as I’m with you.”

Hux grimaced, “We’re going to have to talk about these pet names.”

Kylo laughed and went to find the restroom. Inside he began to wash his hands and pop some mints. “You got this, Kylo, come on. ‘I’ll tell you where we’ll go next: my place. You’re gonna love the feel of me babe, you won’t be able to walk for-‘“ 

“Kylo?”

Kylo felt his stomach drop and he whirled around. “…U-Uncle Luke!?”

This wasn’t happening

“Kylo, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you home?”

“It’s not my home!” Kylo automatically snapped. “I’m on a date, why are you here?”

“A date? Kylo you should be home. Your parents are waiting for you-“

“It’s not my home!” Kylo snapped again. He could feel agitation and nerves starting to swirl in his stomach. He wasn’t ready to face his family yet, he didn’t want to.

He tried to take a deep breath. “I know, I’ll be there, alright? I still have some time. Why are you here? Your sister wanted you to get there early.” 

Luke nodded and tried to put a gentle hand on Kylo’s shoulder. “I promised to take my students out tonight, they just finished a big project. I called her to let her know; have you called Kylo?”

Kylo shrugged off his hand. “I’ll be there, alright! Isn’t that enough?!”

Luke tried to sooth him “Kylo, calm down; of course we are all glad you came, but your parents really want to spend time with you.”

“They’ll see me tonight, I’m on a date right now-”

“Bring him!” Luke encouraged “Your parents would love that.”

Kylo couldn’t believe his ears. “You’re kidding right?! I’m going back to my date-“

Kylo was breathing hard, and he could feel anger starting to bubble inside him. He needed air, he needed to breathe, he didn’t want to talk about any of this. He felt tears forming in his eyes. He heard the door creak open behind him but Luke put his hand on his shoulder and tried to sooth him again.

“Kylo, I’ve talked to your parents, to Hans, it is not that big a deal anymore-“

“I don’t want to talk about this-“

“They are more tolerant, accepting, they are willing to accept us both. I can go with you, we can all talk it out.”

“I don’t want to talk!”

“Kylo please, just come home-”

“NO Luke, you can’t just come in here and demand-“

“Ben?”

Kylo looked to the door, the shock of seeing the redhead there distracted him from fighting back his tears and they streamed down his face.

“Hux!”

Hux was frozen. He stood in the restroom doorway, holding the door open, his eyes wide. “You were gone awhile, so I thought I’d just come find you…”

“Oh, Hux I’m sorry, I can explain…” He quickly started to whip the tears from his face. Luke put a soothing hand on his shoulder again and offered him tissues.

Hux’s eyes glared knives at Luke’s hand on Kylo’s shoulder. He scrunched up his nose and frowned. “I’m interrupting you two; I think I’m just going to leave.”

“No, wait!” Kylo pushed Luke away. He started fumbling over his own words with desperation. “Interrupting- No that’s- Hux, what you think is happening isn’t what’s happening! Just let me explain!”

“No, you don’t have to explain! I thought we had a connection,”

“And we do!” Kylo pleaded.

“and you obviously have a thing for older men, but I wasn’t enough- “

“Hux, he’s my uncle!” 

Hux’s eyes widened even more “so I’m just gonna leave you to return to whatever fucking weird shit that is.”

Hux stormed out and bee lined for the buildings exit. Kylo chased after him into the street, speeding past lit lampposts.

“Hux, please!”

“Don’t follow me!”

“Kylo, are you alright!?”

They both stopped in the middle of the road and saw the older man run up to them.

“…Kylo? Who’s Kylo? Why is he calling you Kylo?” Hux breathed.

“Well, it’s the name he chose.” Luke answered like it was the easiest thing in the world. “He wants all of us to call him that.”

Kylo looked as if he wanted to strangle him.

“Everyone? Except me?”

Kylo whirled “Hux-“

“I’m just gonna go.” Hux began to storm off again. 

“It’s not what you think!” Kylo called, “He’s just my crazy uncle, Luke!”

“I go off to four different continents to find myself, and all of a sudden I’m the crazy uncle,” Luke sighed. “it did help, you know. I'm happier, out of the closest, closer to my family…” he noticed Kylo’s exasperation and cleared his throat. “I'm rambling. Kylo, I’m so sorry, have I caused some problem between you and your boyfriend?”

“No sir,” Hux called over his shoulder, array already a ways off, “you needn’t worry, you may have saved me!”

Kylo began to chase him again “Hux, come on!”

“Return to your partner, Kylo and never speak to me-“

“Please Hux!” Kylo grabbed Hux’s arm to stop him. “Ok, wait Hux, hang on. Let me just tell you the truth because now is as good a time as any just to confess.”

“Confess what?” Hux spat

“The reason my uncle called me Kylo was because I’m not called Ben,” Kylo rambled “and the reason I’m not called Ben is because I am not actually Ben.”

“What?”

“Well, I am a Ben, technically, but I haven’t gone by that name since I was 18.”

“He chose Kylo Ren, and now we all call him that.” Luke said as he appeared behind Kylo and patted him on the shoulder. “Kylo, I think it is time I go.”

They both death glared him.

“Yeah,” Kylo barked, “No shit.”

“Language.” Luke sighed and looked at Hux for a moment, his eyes looking through him. Hux responded with his deadliest glare. Luke didn’t blink, he stared for a moment longer then swiftly turned on his heels and strolled back to the bowling alley. 

As he walked off Kylo ran his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, the point is that my name is technique Ben, but I go by Kylo now, but anyway I’m not your Ben,” he rambled on. “and the reason I was fighting with my uncle was because he was trying to make me leave, to go see my parents. It’s…really complicated but I don’t want to leave. I want to be here with you, but I have to tell you the truth and the truth is I’m not your blind date, Hux, but you thought I was, what with the station, the book, the quip pro quo-“

“Wait.” Hux put a hand in front of Kylo’s face to stop him. “So you are saying you are not the man I was supposed to meet at the station earlier?”

“No.”

“What?!” Hux yelled

“I know!” Kylo laughed, desperate and tired “It’s sounds a little crazy, but don’t think of it as crazy, think of it as impulsive-“

“What kind of person stands in the station waiting-“

“Well I wasn’t waiting-“

“-to steal people’s date?!”

“Well it’s not stealing in the conventional sense of the word. That boy gave me his book, so that’s why you thought I was him.”

“No,” Hux pointed a finger at Kylo’s face, his mouth a displeased line “I thought you were him because you said you were him.”

Kylo blinked “Did…did I actually ever say that?”

“When were you thinking of actually telling me about this bizarre decision of yours?”

“Well, there wasn’t exactly a plan…”

“I’m sure there wasn’t a plan,” Hux ran both of his hands through his hair “because who would have a plan for something like that? For something so fucked up!?”

Kylo stared like a fish “I think people have done worse things in the world.”

“I’m racking my brains,” Hux huffed as he shoved past Kylo.

“Well, that boy wasn’t even right for you!” Kylo called as he again followed him.

“We’ll never know, will we? I’ll never meet him because you stole him.”

“Yeah, I mean that’s one way to look at it.” Kylo rolled his eyes as he trotted next to him. “I was merely trying to meet my mate in the modern world.”

“’Meet your mate,’” Hux scoffed as he angrily speed walked. “I don’t even know you!”

“Well, I’m Kylo Ren.” Kylo ran in front of him, stopping Hux, and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Hux glared at the hand with disgust. “Are you even a tri-athlete?”

Kylo’s hand dropped. “That’s the next thing you ask?”

“And where’s Ben?”

“I don’t know, I would’ve thought he probably gone home by now.” Kylo makes a show of looking at his watch. “Past his bedtime.”

Hux narrowed his eyes. “Are you even 24?”

Kylo laughed. “Aw, add another ten.”

“What!?” Hux yelled as he took a step back.

“Uh, Fuck you, Granddad.”

Hux straightened to his full height and stepped into Kylo’s space. He sneered, “Not in six billion years.”

Kylo’s mouth fell open and Hux pushed past him again.

“That..That was uncalled for!”

“That was uncalled for!?” Hux whirled around. “Do you know what’s uncalled for? Derailing my date!”

Hux stormed off, and Kylo stormed right after him.

“34!” Hux huffed.

“40!” Kylo yelled back.

“Stop following me!”

“You’re overreacting!” Kylo said as he caught up to Hux and matched his pace.

“Am I!?” Hux said as he turned to glare at Kylo. “ How would you feel, Kylo, if you were set up with someone who was supposed to be absolutely perfect for you and then some psycho pretends to be them instead?”

“Setups never work!”

“Poe said we matched!”

“Please!” Kylo laughed “He reads self-help books and The Da Vinci Code.”

“So what?”

“He works in the city? What does that even mean? When people say that, what does that mean?”

“It means he is a high-flying,”

“Riiiight.”

“24-year-old business man-“

“24! You love that word, it’s like your favorite word.” Kylo rolled his eyes.

“Oh, well isn’t that just the classic response of a lonely, desperate 34-year-old man with a daddy complex who just wants some older man to mooch off.”

“Well at least I’m still in my sexual peak.” Kylo threw back “it’s all downhill for you. Knock knock. Who’s there? What, oh! Viagra!”

“Wow, you know what? The bitter look really suits you, goes with all that black and emo shit you got on. It doesn’t surprise me that Michael slept around. Oh, hang on a sec! There is no Michael!”

“And there is no husband, is there? Because he left you!” Kylo drawled in a mock pitying voice.

“Yes,” Hux responded in the same sarcastic tone.

“And here’s your theory. You think ‘I’m so wounded and rejected. Please help me, younger man, who’s nearly half my age’!”

“This is coming from someone who had to steal someone else’s date to even get one!”

“Uh, at least I’m not walking around like I’m the bloody catch of the century. ‘Look at me with my own flat-‘”

“I do have my own flat, I did not lie-“

“and my online marketing management job. But what I really want to do, what I really want to do, is paint!”

“You don’t know me, I am going to paint!”

“Sure you are. You’re going to paint…” Kylo spat.

“You know what, thank you very much. It was absolutely lovely not getting to know you,”

“Amazing. What are you even going to paint?” Kylo continued to mock over Hux’s voice.

“and congratulations on your massive pack of lies!” Hux then flung the door open to a bar and slammed it behind him.

Kylo took that moment to scream, and then proceeded to follow him because he’d be damned if he just let this whatever it is die here.


	3. The Bar (Again)

He scanned the crowd for the red head and he slowly realized where they were. He bee lined for the bar, and sure enough he found Hux there, already taking another shot.

“Seriously? Do you not know any other bars; why are you back at this place?”

Hux glared at him. “Why are you still following me?!”

Kylo opened his mouth but nothing came out. Besides proving his point, he actually didn’t know why he was still following this man. He obviously wanted nothing to do with Kylo, and after all of the red head’s scowling, screaming, and rejections, Kylo also didn’t want anything to do with him. Except that he did. He really did. He still found the man incredibly attractive, charming, witty, sexy and gentle. He couldn’t forget how he felt the first time he saw him, or their time drinking at the pier and at this bar, or their flirty competitiveness with bowling. He hated him. He hated how he humiliated him in front of Luke of all people, how he rejected him, how he looked so disgusted by him. He hated how he thought Kylo was some psychotic, love crazed idiot. He wanted to whip those sneers off his face, kiss them off, pin him to the bar like he did at the bowling alley, take him and make him scream his real name.

He wanted more than anything to prove the sexy bastard wrong and make him his.

Luckily for Kylo while he was having this internal revelation Hux became distracted, and he waved down one of the bar tenders. 

A large, tonned, short haired women came up to them. She was slightly taller than Kylo, and although she wasn’t as large as him, her stance and glare made him think she could take him on. She wore the uniform black button up shirt with rolled up sleeves, had several silver piercings in her ears and a long silver necklace. After staring Kylo down she turned to Hux.

“Why are you here?”

Hux pushed his brief case towards her. “I have everything here.”

Her eyes widened. “It’s done?”

He nodded. She suddenly looked sad and put her hand on his shoulder. “Hux, that’s great, but you need to leave. He’s here.” 

Kylo’s ears perked up. Hux didn’t look phased.

“I do not see why that matters. I said I would bring you everything once it was all complete, and you insisted on meeting him.” Hux suddenly wrapped his arm around Kylo’s waist and pulled him towards himself. “This is Kylo Ren, my boyfriend.”

Kylo was too shocked to say anything, and stood frozen. The women crossed her arms. Stared them both down, and sighed. “Go to our usual booth. I’ll finish up this round and take my break.”

“Perfect.” Hux clipped, took his briefcase and Kylo’s hand, and lead him to a booth at the back of the bar where it was quieter. 

Kylo ripped his hand from Hux’s. “The fuck?”

“You owe me, play along for an hour, and then you can leave.” 

“Are you serious?” Kylo barked. “You couldn’t wait to get away from me a second ago!”

“Things change.” Hux hissed. “You owe me, and it is only for an hour.”

“I can’t believe this.” Kylo started to walk away.

“Where are you going!?” Hux demanded.

“Toilet.”

“Oh great, going to meet another relative in there?”

“No, so you don’t need to follow me in there!” Kylo snarled over his shoulder.

“I have no intention of doing that again!”

Kylo stormed off and slammed the restroom door open. He flung his messenger bag onto the sink.

“FUCK!” He slammed his fist on the mirror.   
He rubbed his face, then shrugged off his coat. He looked around the restroom, when he was sure he was alone he tried to call Rey. He was apparently going to be super late, and she would be worried. 

It rang for a bit, but then went to voicemail. He hung up, figuring she was busy with the party. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible; his hair waseverywhere and his eyes burned. He washed his face, and got some paper towels.

“Nice one, Kylo.” He dried his face and hands. “Really, really nice.”

He kept replaying the events of the night in his head as he started to fix his hair, running his fingers through his long locks and trying to restores some order.

He cursed under his breath. He couldn’t believe he had gone along with Hux, let him believe he was his date, and worst of all, he couldn’t believe he fell so hard for that jerk in just a couple of hours.

“Hey, new goal for the trip, a new mantra:” he sighed, “stop being such a fucking loser.”

He took off his button up shirt, rolled it up, and shoved it in his bag. “Try that out for a while.”

He blinked, tried to push down all the sad and bad feelings, and stormed back to the bar.

Hux was leaning with his back to the booth’s table, looking at his watch. He began to wonder if Kylo or Phasma were ever going to show up when he saw Kylo coming back from the restroom. He felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widen. Kylo was wearing a tight black tank top that ridded up in some parts, showing his dark brown belt and glimpses of his sculpted muscles. His hair was frizzed and uncontrolled, but it only added to the wild look of his dark clothes, tight pants, and incredible muscles. He couldn’t take his eyes off Kylo’s arms and chest, and he didn’t dare look lower than that.

Kylo leaned against the booth, next to Hux, and glared holes into the floor.

They stood in silence for a few moments until Hux gave in and sighed. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.” 

“Yeah,” Kylo scoffed, “you do.”

Hux rubbed his eyes. “I should give some history. I married my ex-husband three years ago.”

Kylo’s head snapped up to Hux, the sudden change in topic making him forget his anger towards the man. 

“He is also in online marketing, so our hectic schedules aligned more often than with any other partner I’d had. We understood each other, and worked well together. It felt natural to be with him, and I assumed he felt the same way. We dated for some time and got married, but Two years in I realized he was having an affair with an intern. I divorced him instantly. It has been a little over a year sense.”

Kylo didn’t know what to say, so he kept his mouth shut. Hux continued.

“It has been a long process, especially with the property negotiations. However.” He patted his brief case. “tonight it will finally be over, once Phasma takes this.”

Kylo looked at the floor again. “Phasma?”

“My college friend, the owner of this bar. She is finishing up at the bar and meeting us soon.”

Kylo nodded “You’re giving her your brief case, right? How does that make it ‘finally over’?”

“It has all my divorce papers.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “And you brought that on a date? Sexy.” 

Hux rolled his eyes. “I came from the lawyers, alright?”

“OOooh, sexier.”

Hux sighed and slid into the booth, Kylo took the bench across from him.

“Phasma’s father is a divorce lawyer,” Hux said flatly “and he has been kind enough to work with me when I have time. He recommended other experts as well, when things got a little more complicated, but it is all done now, and Phasma said she would deliver the papers to her father for finalization.”

“That’s why you’re here, but that doesn’t explain why I’m here as your date.” 

Hux frowned. “Phasma is under the impression that I am still hurt from the divorce. She keeps inviting me to drinks and trying to hook me up with someone.” He rubbed his temples. “I have asked her to stop, but she is relentless. We have a wager that she will stop setting me up with people as long as I find a boyfriend by Christmas. It's November. Obviously, time is running out, and I have had no time or motivation to find one. I do not want to deal with Phasma’s attempts of finding me a lover or consolation, so I asked Poe if he knew anyone.” 

“Ben.” Kylo concluded.

Hux nodded.

“So this Poe guy found you a kid you could get along with, and this whole time you just wanted to whoo him so you could bring him here to shut Phasma up?”

Hux coughed “I wouldn’t say that.”

“But it’s true.”

Hux ignored him and opened his briefcase. He seemed to be putting his papers in order when he pulled out a black note book. “This is...?”

“My note book!” Kylo snatched it. “Why did you have this?!”

“I must have accidently put it in here when we went over our lists.” Hux muttered as he pulled out a folded piece of paper. He examined it before he opened it and read some.

“Is this…a speech?”

Kylo quickly tore it from Hux’s hands. “Unfortunately. I’m suppose to give one. It’s my folks’ 40th wedding anniversary tonight.”

Hux looked scandalized. “Oh my stars, it just keeps getting better and better!”

“What?” Kylo hissed.

“Not only do you steal somebody else’s blind date, you stand up your parents on one of the most important milestones of their life. You really, really need to consider your motivations for doing things and not doing things, Kylo.” 

“Excuse me,” Kylo spat. “but who was using a 24-year-old to get out of other dates?”

“Poe recommended him greatly. He said Ben would actually be a good match for me!’

“Please,” Kylo laughed “I cannot have this conversation again, unless your 40-year-old face already forgot we had it.”

“Indeed,” Hux sneered. “I would not want to work up a lonely 34-year-old, would I?”

Kylo leaned it, “You want to go, old man?”

“Is that some kind of threat? Want me to beat your ass at something other than bowling?”

“You didn’t win that.” Kylo snarled.

Hux lifted an eyebrow “Didn’t you say you weren’t competitive.”

“Didn’t you say you weren’t competitive?”

“Mm-hmm,” Phasma smirked as she appeared at their booth with drinks. “As if Hux isn’t competitive.” 

Kylo jumped. Hux cleared his throat. “Kylo, come sit next to me. Phasma, quite busy tonight, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s a payday so it was expected. But there was no way I was going to miss this.” She watched Kylo sit next to Hux and then she slid into her side of the booth. She smiled slyly and propped her head on her hand. “So, what rating are you rabbits on?”

“Rating?” Hux raised an eyebrow as he sipped his drink.

“Sexually.”

Hux spit his drink. Klyo burst out laughing and Hux glared at him and then at Phasma.

“Honestly Phasma, you just met him!”

“I know,” Phasma smiled sweetly “But I’m your best pal! I need to ask the important questions.”

“And our sex life is one of those?” Kylo laughed, arching his eyebrows.

“Of course! Look at him,” she gestured to Hux “he is so high strung that he could snap at any moment, it is your responsibility“ she wiggled her finger at Kylo “to relax his stiff ass.”

Hux groaned and Kylo laughed out loud. Right there and then he decided he liked Phasma.

“So, what’s your rating?”

“It’s sex Phasma,” Hux huffed “it’s M in of itself.”

“Oh come on, Hux! I sent you that article, didn’t you read it? It talks about when people start dating they’re like porn stars, making all kinds of noises. They’re making love all times of the day, it’s the worst!”

Hux looked like he was going to die, Kylo’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“We’re still in porno land.”

Hux spit some of his drink, and deciding he was not going to be able to drink anymore he slammed it down and stared with wide eyes at Kylo. “Prono land!?”

Phasma’s eyes instantly lit up. “You know that article?”

“Sure do,” Kylo smiled evilly. He gestured to Hux. “Shall I explain?”

“Please do!” Phasma chimed. 

“So you see, Hux.” Kylo began as he put an arm around Hux’s shoulders “it says that when a guy starts sleeping with a man he acts like he’s a porn star, as Phasma already said. It means that for couples like us, anything goes. A little Church of Lesbyterian, dinner beneath the bridge, guided tour of site B, if you know what that is.” He winked at Phasma. “He knows what that is.”

“Do I?” Hux whispered as Kylo continued.

“Remember that time when you said ‘we should’, and I was like, ‘I’m not gonna do that’. You said ‘Go on, try it!’”

“Did I?” Hux laughed nervously as Kylo chuckled and nudged him.

“Yeah, and I was just thinking, ‘I’m actually quite scared,’ because I couldn’t see,” he commented to Phasma. “But then,” he turns his attention back to Hux, “God, you flipped it! And then all of a sudden,” Kylo closed his eyes, his face and chest began to flush and he panted a little “God, ah! I-I like,” he laughed, a little breathlessly “I felt like, ‘please don’t stop. Hux please, don’t stop!’” Kylo was gripping at his hair still panting “’Don’t stop, Hux. Do what you do, Hux. Thank you, Hux. I love your work, Hux!’” Then he opened his eyes and spoke in a serious tone to Hux. “And you’re like ‘wow, our sex life is always gonna be like a porn film’. But in about six months, most guys will drop it down to an 18, and then a 15, maybe a quick 69, but only after they’ve had a shower. And then suddenly, whoa, they’re a pg13, wearing tartan pajamas to bed doing the goodnight rollover before you can say ‘missionary position’”. 

“That’s…an excellent theory.” Hux breathed as if he had just gotten off a roller-coaster.

“Thank you,” Kylo sighed. He wrapped his arms around Hux’s neck “But you know, Hux? I really feel like we’re gonna be in Porno land for a lot longer than usual.”

Hux couldn’t stop the smile and blush that spread across his face.

“Actually, I know another theory.” Phasma smirked at them.

Kylo smiled evilly while still staring at Hux “Yeah? What is it?”

“If you get someone back to your place and say you don’t wanna have sex, you wanna, you know, take it slowly, I guarantee they will go down on you!”

Kylo smirked, he dragged his leg along Hux’s leg, and nudged his knee dangerously close to Hux’s crotch. “Blowjob Paradox!”

Hux’s smile instantly disappeared as his entire face turned red. Phasma and Kylo burst out laughing.

“THE BLOWJOB PARADOX!!” She hollered.

Kylo turned to Phama, “Yeah! Use it don’t abuse it! It’s like, if divorce papers we’re honest, they wouldn’t say ‘irreconcilable difference’, they’d say ‘not enough blowjobs’!”

“Not enough blowjobs!!” Phasma cackled.

“You know? Like, get down there and fix it!”

Hux dragged his hands down his face. “I need some air,” He sighed as he stood. He pointed a finger at Phasma and Kylo. “Please find a different topic” 

Phasma grinned, “No promises.”


	4. The Streets

Kylo laughed and watched Hux leave the bar, he then turned back to Phasma, and was taken aback by how serious she suddenly looked.

“Phasma?”

“I’m glad Hux found you.”

He stared at her. “…why?” 

She was looking very seriously at her drink. “He still won’t admit it, but Brendol really hurt him. He says they married because they are alike and worked well together, but the truth is he really loved him. Hux does not get along with most people, you know? It’s just his personality. He only calls a few people his friends, but he is eternally loyal to them.” She laughed bitterly, “That’s why I like him so much, I’m the same way. It’s also why I know it really hurt him when Brendol lied to him; cheated on him.”

Kylo felt his chest clench. Phasma ran a hand through her short hair. “I wanted to try and help Hux get over Brendol as soon as possible, so I kept setting him up on dates. I knew he hated it, but I thought it would help him forget. Don’t get me wrong, I know he’s not in love with Brendol anymore, it’s just…”

“He’s still hurting,” Kylo finished “you just want to help.”

Phasma gave him a small smile. “Yeah, but it looks like you are doing way more than I ever could.”

Kylo leaned forward “Phasma, he cares about you, I can tell, you are making a difference for him-“

“Woah there!” Phasma snickered as she held a hand up “I know that, I’m not looking for some pity from the new boy toy. I just mean that you are doing a lot too. I haven’t seen Hux get this mad or flustered in months. Thanks for that.”

She held her drink up, and Kylo clinked his against her’s. 

“Here’s hoping you can keep it up, and to hell with Brendol.”

Kylo smirked back “Fuck the past.”

“Oh no, are you two best friends now?”

Phasma smirked at Hux. “What? You afraid of what your boy toy and best friend teaming up will mean for you?”

“Absolutely.” Hux stated flatly; Kylo laughed.

As Hux sat down Kylo instantly wrapped his arms around him. “I’m missed you, Big Nuts!” He pulled Hux close and kissed him on the cheek.

Hux groaned. “Not this again.”

Kylo smirked and winked at Phasma. “Would you mind if we go to dance, Phasma?”

Phasma smiled widely “Go on ahead!”

“Kylo,” Hux said dryly “I don’t dance.”

Kylo smirked, “Because you haven’t dance with me yet.”

He got up, took Hux’s hand, and lead them to the dance floor.

There was soft, slow music playing, and Kylo deftly put Hux’s left hand on his shoulder and held his right hand. He put his other hand on Hux’s lower back and easily set the pace; he had them swaying and spinning in no time. 

“I can’t believe you and Phasma bonded over a sex article.” Hux rolled his eyes.

“I’m just glad she knew it, the editors debated on publishing it for days.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at him “You know the editors?”

Kylo chuckled. “You can say that. I wrote it, I’m a journalist.”

“A journalist?”

“In this day and age, yes. I work in New York, I’m just here to see my parents.” 

“Your parents!” Hux gasped. “I-I forgot, your parent’s 40th anniversary, I’m sorry, Kylo. I shouldn’t have made you stay-“

Hux tried to push Kylo away but Kylo tightened his grip on him.

“Easy, easy, Hux. You were right, I owe you, and I was already super late to the party, what’s another hour. Besides, I wasn’t crazy about seeing them anyway.”

Hux stared at him. “Your family, your…uncle.” He cleared his throat. “You seem to have, ah, difficulties with them?”

Kylo laughed bitterly. “I have a lot of problems with my folks, yeah.”

“What kinds of problems?”

“Well for one, my dad didn’t take too well that I was gay. Another is that he didn’t like that I ran off to New York to be a journalist.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, they weren’t happy about that, and I haven’t been back in a while. I’m trying to be better, trying to be more sociable, for my sister’s sake.” He looked at Hux, and laughed. 

“What?”

“You’re just so…serious,” he laughed again. “Sorry, I’m talking about boring stuff.”

“No!” Hux insisted. “I don’t mind, why do you say it’s for your sister?”

“Well, she’s a few years younger than me, and we used to be really close, but we kind of lost touch after I left. She had been begging me to come home more often, and try not to kill our parents. She even calls me before I visit and tries to coach me. This time she had me write these goals for the party-“

“’Be friendlier’, ‘smile more’, ‘read about the force’?” Hux smirked. “What did you say it was, ‘a new band’?”

Kylo tried to cover his red cheeks with a smirk. “And didn’t you say you heard of them?”

“I took that back, thank you.” Hux huffed.

Kylo laughed. They slow danced in silence for a while, enjoying the feel of each other and the intimacy of a dance in a crowded bar. Hux broke the silence first. 

“You could have just told me the truth, Kylo.”

“I know, and I should have, it’s just…” Kylo sighed. “Ben was doing so well.”

Hux threaded his fingers in Kylo’s hair and gently pressed Kylo’s head to his shoulder as he took the lead. “Yes, well, Kylo isn’t doing so bad either.”

Kylo felt the heat rush to his face and he knew he was doomed.

“Hux?”

Hux instantly froze and Kylo pulled away to look at the person who was speaking.

Hux whispered, “…Brendol?”

Kylo instantly saw red. The man was older, like Hux, but not nearly as handsome, and he was holding hands with a man that must have been 24.

Brendol was frowning. “What are you doing here? And who is this?”

“His boyfriend, Kylo Fucking Ren.” Kylo put his whole weight into his shoulder and arm, and punched Brendol in the face.

*** * *** * *** * ***

Hux felt the cold biting at his cheeks, the inside of this throat, and his hands. He had run after Kylo into the night without a second thought. He was much slower than Kylo, he had stood dumbfounded after Kylo had punched Brendol, and he heard as Kylo push through the crowd and left the bar.

Kylo had knocked Brendol out in one blow, and kicked Brendol’s boyfriend’s feet from under him. He watched them both collapse to the floor, heard the crowd whoop and the boy’s panicked voice as he tried to wake Brendol up.

Hux couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he just dumbly looked at the two fallen men and saw Kylo begin to shove through the crowd from the corner of his eyes.

Phasma called to him, had told him Kylo was leaving, and he just ran. He took off after Kylo out the bar.

His chest hurt, he was panicking. He needed to catch up to Kylo, he needed to talk to him, he needed…

“Kylo!”

Hux ran as fast as he could, and was barely able to stop himself from crashing into Kylo when he suddenly stopped.

Kylo had stopped mid run and turned towards Hux, but his face was turned down to the ground, his long hair covering his face.

Hux tried to talk through labored breaths “K-Kylo….”

“You knew.”

Kylo still didn’t look at him, and Hux wanted nothing more than to push those soft locks from his face, tilt his face up to look at him, to feel connected to Kylo again, not distant, not far, like now. Hux began to reach his hands out towards him. “…what..?”

“You knew your ex would be there!” Kylo screamed, and Hux fleet his heart stop.

“That’s who Phasma was telling you about, who she said was here and that you should leave! But you didn’t want to leave, did you?! You wanted to be there, to see him, for him to see you!!”

Kylo was shaking, his hands in fists. Hux had to explain, had to make Kylo stop looking like that, but he knew he couldn’t lie. He didn’t want any more lies between them. “That’s why I brought Ben here.” Hux sighed, his voice a soft whisper. His heart hurt when he saw Kylo twitch at the name. “so Brendol would see me with him. And to get Phasma off my case. Two birds, one stone, I suppose.” He laughed bitterly. “But then I came to my senses and had us leave. Only to come back once I found you with Luke and you told me the truth. I also wasn’t sure Brendol would be here, I just had to give Phasma the papers, and I didn’t think you’d follow me, Kylo, I didn’t want-”

“You didn’t want what, Hux?! You didn’t want to use me?! To use me as your boy toy, your arm candy, to get back at that cheating, heaping pile of shit?!You cared more about hurting him than if you hurt me!”

Hux couldn’t move. Kylo was glaring at him with rage filled eyes. He hurt him, he had betrayed him as Kylo did to him, but it didn’t feel like retribution, like they were even, somehow it felt like if Hux moved one inch their connection would be gone forever.

“Hux!!”

Hux turned slowly, still numb. “Phasma?”

She ran up to them and extended her hand, handing Hux her cell phone. “What the hell, you guys? You start a fight in my bar and then fucking take off? And Hux, what the hell have you been up to? Poe has left me dozens of voicemails, saying that you won’t answer your phone and he’s worried sick! Call him now!”

“Phasma,” Hux breathed trying to compose himself. “I apologize, I should have left once you told me Brendol was there. We have caused problems for you, and of course I’ll pay if there are any damages-“

“Hux.” She interrupted “that doesn’t matter right now, my men are taking care of it and nothing was broken. Poe, however, is worried sick and you need to call him now!’

Hux looked over his shoulder to see Kylo still standing there, he wasn’t shaking, but he was looking at the ground again, his hair covering his face. He looked back to Phasma, who followed his eyes and was looking at Kylo with concern. She met Hux’s eyes and spoke soothingly. “It will just be a second, let him know you’re alive. We can work it all out later.”

Hux hesitated but nodded. He called Poe and he picked up on the second ring.

“Phasma?!”

“Poe,” Hux said tiredly.

“Hux!! Oh thank God, buddy, I was so worried!!”

Hux smiled shyly “I’m sorry, Poe, I turned my phone off and didn’t realize you were trying to contact me.”

“Are you ok? Ben and I have been so worried…”

Hux felt a shiver run down his back and he couldn’t stop the name from escaping his lips. “…Ben?”

He saw Kylo twitch again from the corner of his eyes and he hated himself.

“Yeah, Ben told me you guys never met up and we have both been trying to contact you; where have you been, buddy?”

“Poe, it’s…it’s a long story, one I will have to tell you later I’m afraid-“

“Yeah, you better! But anyway, it’s still kinda early, and I texted Ben to let him know you are ok-“

“You texted him?!” Hux’s eyes widened “When?”

“Just now, and this kid, he’s so sweet, he still wants to meet up, make sure you are ok-“

“Meet up? Tonight, as in now?”

“Yeah, he really wanted to meet you Hux, he doesn’t always have the weekend off and he really wants to talk-“

Hux began to lower the phone from him ear. He was staring at Kylo, who was still looking at the ground. He just wanted to touch him, make him look at him-

“Hux?”

Phasma’s voice woke him up again. “Poe, I…” he picked up his phone, “I’ll text you in a minute, alright? I just…there’s something I need to do.”

He hung up and looked to them both. “Poe, he…he set up a blind date for me. I missed it earlier today, and apparently he is still willing to meet up with me tonight.”

Phasma looked very confused. “What? A date? Does he not know you have-“

“You should go.”

Hux whirled around to face Kylo. “What?”

Kylo was looking at him very seriously. “You should go meet him. You really wanted to, didn’t you? Poe said you two matched. Besides, what are you waiting for?”

“Kylo, what are you talking about?” Phasma said, going between them. “What’s wrong with you two? You were all up on each other in the bar, and now you two look like-“

“Two strangers?” Kylo laughed. Hux swore he saw tears in his eyes. “Ask Hux. I’m done here.” Kylo turned on his heels and walked off, and Hux found he couldn’t follow him, not anymore.

“Hux?” Phasma asked, turning to him.

“Later Phasma, it would seem I have a date to go to.” He said as he started to text Poe.


	5. The House Party

“What kind of psycho pretends to be someone else’s date?”

They were seated on the balcony of a restaurant. Hux was finally starting to calm down; after Kylo has stormed off, Hux turned on his heels and stormed off in the other direction. Phasma had followed on his heels, drilling him, trying to get an explanation for why he was arguing with Kylo, but Hux ignored her. He couldn’t hear, see, or think of anything. He focused completely on leaving -- so much so that before he left the bar he grabbed everything in their booth, including Kylo’s things. Kylo had left the bar so quickly he left all his belongings behind, and Hux sneered at it all as it sat under their restaurant table next to his own briefcase. He thought about throwing it off a river, but he figured he could just give it back to Phasma. If Kylo ever wanted it back, he would go back to the bar. Once Phasma had it, it wouldn’t be his problem anymore. He would never have to see Kylo again.

“However,” The man chuckled “it proves what a publishing sensations ‘Six Billion People and You’ has been.”

He was shorter than Hux, with neat, short, slicked back black hair and a well fitted grey suit. He sat straight and spoke in a soft tone. His manners shown through even as he took a sip from his glass. 

“Yes,” Hux smiled.

“Anyway, let’s just pretend it never happened, and we shall start again!” He held his glass up and Hux toasted with him. Hux went ahead and drank a good portion of his beer. He saw the man’s eyes widen.

“I’m sorry, I’m ever so thirsty. I did a lot of walking today.”

They both laughed.

“So, Ben, I hear you work in the city.”

“Correct, and I love it!”

“’Lunch is for whims.’” Hux chuckled.

Ben tilted his head to the side “Pardon?”

“It’s from Wall Street, the film.” Hux tried to explain. “’If you need a friend, get a dog.’”

Ben smiled wildly “Oh, is that the one with Leonardo DiCaprio?”

“Uh, no…” Hux shook his head and tried to think of a new topic. He leaned forward. “So listen, Poe told me you are a tri-athlete.”

*** * *** * *** * ***

Kylo pushed the back door open and almost fell over from being attacked by a hairy hulking dog.

“Chewie!!” Kylo hissed, lifting his shopping bags away from the dog, “you’re gonna make me drop these!”

Rey was the second one to see him. She cheered with glee, ran to him, and hugged him tightly. She then put her arm around him and lead him to the living room.

“Everyone! Kylo’s here!!”

Everyone turned to them and cheered. Hans and Leia stood up to greet him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kylo smiled to everyone “but I brought chocolate mousse!” 

Everyone cheered again, but Kylo suddenly started spilling tears. His parents were on him instantly, trying to sooth him. Rey took the bags from Kylo while she asked several questions as to what happened. They all led Kylo to an empty chair in the corner; Kylo simply cried on, his face in his hands as the Solos and Company hoovered over him, talking over each other.

*** * *** * *** * ***  
“I have several plans: I want to remodel my flat, paint my hallway-“

“Oh yes! Poe said you were a bit of an artist!”

“Oh, no.” Hux laughed “I dabble, if you can even say that.”

Ben smiled weakly, but then perked up. “I got an A in Art, A level!”

“Ah, so did I.” Hux tried, with a half-smile.

“Oh, ah, well done!” Ben smiled.

“…Likewise.”

“A-Anyway! I am so glad you are a fan of ‘Six Billion People and You’ as well. And I am so sorry that I was late to meet you. But actually, the reason that I had to buy another copy was because I left my copy to a man on the train.”

Hux’s eyes widen. He remembered Kylo’s explanation, that he was given the book…

“He so needed to read it. He was a very unhappy soul, you know, one of those lost hope, clock ticking, kind of men.”

Hux’s eyes fell to the table. He thought of Kylo’s angry, tear filled eyes on the street.

“Anyway, should we do the lists?”

“I – Yes! The lists!” Hux leaned over to get to his brief case but stopped when he saw Kylo’s bag. He found his hand going into the bag, taking out Kylo’s notebook, and turned to the page Kylo had opened as his ‘list’.

“Hux?”

Hux tore his eyes from the page.

“Are you alright? I asked what your favorite food is?”

Hux’s gaze fell back to the notebook, and he started at it again.

“Are you ready?”

Hux looked up, his face resolute.

*** * *** * *** * ***  
“I am so sorry about this.” Hux said while he finalized his order for a Taxi on his phone.

They were both racing down the restaurant’s stairs, heading straight for the street.

“What are you talking about? This is amazing! If I had not left him that book – Ohmaigawd, it’s like the most epic love story ever! AND it means that I was right and he was wrong! How close is your Taxi?”

“Just a few blocks over,” Hux muttered looking at his phone.

“Perfect, where is he?”

Hux sighed in frustration. “…I have no idea.”

“What!? Then where are you going?”

“A bar, the last place I saw him-“

“Is he still there?”

“No, but it’s all I have-“

“Why don’t you call him?” 

“I don’t have his number, I have your number.”

“What’s his name?”

Hux sighed again. “Depends on who you ask, he has two.”

“Well, if you know them both you could Facebook him.”

“I’m not on Facebook, and I’m not sure about him.”

Ben spotted the Taxi and waved it down. He chuckled. “Don’t be ridiculous, everyone is connected. You have mutual friends, or something?”

Hux’s eyes widened with realization as the Taxi pulled up and Ben held the passenger door open for him.

“You’re a bloody genius!” Hux gave Ben a quick peck on the cheek as he got in and closed the door.

He handed his over to the driver, “Change in destination please,” and rolled down the window as the Taxi took off. He stuck his head out to yell “Good luck with everything, Ben, and thank you!”

Ben waved happily and watched the Taxi disappear before happily walking off.

*** * *** * *** * ***  
Hux ran as fast as he could through the bowling alley, searching with panicking eyes until he saw the older man. He ran up to him and his momentum almost made him crash into the man. “LUKE!!”

The older man was surrounded by his students, seated at a table with a few boxes of pizza. They all looked up at him, Luke was unsurprised. “Where’s Kylo?”

“That’s what I need to talk about,” Hux panted. “I have to find him, and I think he is at home with his parents. He mentioned you were going as well? Could you take me to him?”

Luke nodded, with a little frown “I know the exact Google coordinates,” he then turned back to his students and kept eating his pizza.

The students all looked to Hux, then back to Luke, and back to Hux, over and over until Hux could no longer take it.

“Well?! Will you take me to him?!”

“I don’t know…” Luke kept eating. “You seemed to have really upset him. His last breakup was months ago, and he was doing so much better. His parents are doing much better for it as well, so I believe it would be for the best if you disappeared from Kylo’s life.”

Hux grew deadly quiet for a few moments, then he grabbed Luke by the collar and dragged him out of his chair.

“Look here, old man.” He drew Luke’s face up to his. “You will take me to KYLO, NOW. I lost him once, and I will be damned if I lose him again. Now, we're leaving.”

He shoved Luke towards the door and began to walk towards the exit He heard Luke behind him.

“It’s your funeral.”

*** * *** * *** * ***

“HOLY!!!”

Luke’s car actually flew off the hill and landed several feet later. The car zoomed through traffic, and hugged each tight corner.

“You know, Mr. Skywalker, if you are impaired, I could pay for a Taxi for us-“

Luke hit a hard turn and Hux swore the car actually got on two wheels.

“Watch your mouth, I’m an exceptional driver and I am not impaired; this is how I always drive. Anyway, what’s your plan?”

“What’s my plan!?” Hux exclaimed as he grabbed on to his seat as Luke swung another turn and narrowly beat a red light.

“To win his heart.”

Hux gaped at him. “This isn’t a power ballad—“

“Well it should be; grand romantic gestures, my boy, that’s what it’s all about. Declarations, heart on the line, life changing kind of stuff. Actions, you know? More than words.”

Luke narrowly missed hitting a car when he whizzed through a yellow light. “I taught myself to drive with just my left hand,” he winked at Hux, “pretty useful, I can tell you.” 

Suddenly the car came to a stop, and Hux opened his eyes. “A-are we here…?”

Luke looked at him, his face as calm as always. “Yup, we’re here.”

“Ok, Ok…” Hux quickly gathered his stuff but stopped when he saw Luke sitting there. “Wait, aren’t you coming?”

“I need to stop by the store to get more drinks, my sister texted me. Thought I should bring you over first.”

“Oh!” Hux smiled. “Thank you, I’m sorry I caused you trouble, uh, what number is it?”

Luke nodded to him “74.”

Hux got out and began to look for the right house as he heard Luke drive off. “Good luck!”

*** * *** * *** * ***

“Idiot, Idiot, Idiot,” Kylo repeated, tears still flowing, as he smacked his head against the wall.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Calm down,”

“Oh, Honey…”

“adjhfkalj hdj Why did I let him gokadjfpartydfjkjdhfadkfpartydfh;alkjdf?”

Rey shock her head, “I can’t hear him…”

“Go easy,” Hans soothed “It’s not a concrete wall…”

Leia leaned in, “There’s something in there about a party?”

“Oh, this party?” Rey tried.

Kylo looked up “I was going to bring him here and everything…”

“The man on the phone? You were going to bring the man on the phone?”

Leia turned to Rey, “What man?”

Rey continued to press Kylo, “The strange man from earlier today? The one you were on a date with?”

Kylo nodded, and Rey brightened. “Oh, you should have!”

Hans frowned, “It didn’t go well?”

Kylo stopped crying and turned to him, “No, it did go well,”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Good!”

“That’s great!”

“Hooray!” Hans tried.

Kylo began crying again and hitting himself against the wall.

“Oh!!” Leia cried.

“Oh no, it’s not good…?”

Hans corrected himself. “Boooo! Boooooo!”


	6. The Anniversary Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT. THE EPIC FINALE!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading till the end, I absolutely loved doing this adaption, and I hope I did the original film at least some justice.

Hux began to trot along the street until he saw a home with a lot of cars outside and music. He ran over and saw the right number house. He almost tripped up the stairs and rang the bell.

*** * *** * *** * ***  
“Come on My Love,” Leia placed a steady hand on Kylo’s shoulder. “Just tell us what happened.”

Kylo nodded, and took a shaky breath. He made himself sit up straight, “Ok-“

The doorbell rang and Rey volunteered to get it, she patted Kylo as she left.

*** * *** * *** * ***

Hux was trying to fix his hair when the door opened, he offered a friendly smile.

*** * *** * *** * ***

“Oh!” Kylo heard Rey from the door. He looked up to see who it was.

*** * *** * *** * ***

“Good Evening,” Hux began, “Is Kylo here?”

“Hello,” the young, cute girl replied. “Are you the stripper gram?”

Hux’s face fell. “What-“

He was cut short when the girl pulled him in and shut the door.

*** * *** * *** * ***

“Hello everyone!”

“Oh, Luke!” Leia hugged her brother. “So glad you could make it!”

Kylo was then quickly swept up into a big bear hug.

“Hello, love.”

Kylo stood there and tried to look like he didn’t appreciate the support. “Hey.”

“Don’t worry,” Luke whispered. “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”

Kylo couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Luke pulled back and grinned widely

“Isn’t this supposed to be a party? Let’s celebrate!”

The guests in the living room cheered. Hans and Leia looked to Kylo with concern, but he nodded slowly. He rubbed the tears from his eyes and stood up, nodding towards the living room. Hans put an arm around Luke and starting chatting with him as he pulled him back into the living room. Leia gave Kylo a quick peck on the cheek and ignored Kylo’s groans as she followed Hans and Luke. Rey gapped Kylo by both hands and started tugging Kylo along, and he hid his gratitude to his family through a playful scowl. 

*** * *** * *** * ***

Hux was pulled through throngs of drunk, crazy teens. They all danced, and sang, and bumped into Hux as he passed by. He could hardly see anything, all the lights were dark lights, there were various strobe lights, lasers, and even Christmas lights, and everyone wore neon. There were smoke machines that blared and filled the wide, tall rooms with hazy white gas that only added to the confusion and disorientation as the music blared. The house was large, spacious, two stories, and had many large rooms, all with open doors full of partying teens. Finally, they arrived to a very large living room that had a high ceiling with second floor balcony. The teens filled the balconies, were sprawled on counters, and sang loudly as Hux was quickly pulled into a hug by the bubbly girl.

“Your attention please!!” She yelled and waved her arms. Everyone turned to her and started waving back.

“THIS IS -- !!“She yelled, but turned to Hux for the rest.

Hux tried to yell as loudly as he could. “HUX!!”

Everyone yelled together, “HIIIII HUUUUUUX!!”

“AND HE’S LOOKING FOR –!!“Again the cute girl turned to Hux.

“KYLO REN!!!” Hux began to look around, “Is this the Solo party…?”

“KYLO REN!!” The teens began to call to one another, “IS KYLO REN HERE? ”

One very drunk girl jumped up, “I’M KYLO REN!!”

“I’M KYLO REN!!” A boy echoed, then another, and soon all the teens were shouting it.

“No, no,” Hux groaned “You’re not Kylo Ren, none of you are Kylo Ren --“

“Hux…??”

Hux whirled around “POE!!”

Poe gave him a hug, “Hey, man!! Did Ben bring you here? Where is he –“

“No, no, Poe listen!” Hux put his hands on Poe’s shoulders. “Ben isn’t here. I met him but I already have someone else, and I need to find him! His name is Kylo Ren, he’s supposed to be here!”

“Oh Hux, you should have said something earlier, I’m really sorry!” He covered his mouth and shock his head. “What did you day his name was? Kyle…?”

“Kylo Ren!” Hux sighed, “He’s 34, not 15 or whatever all your friends here are. He’s got very cool hair, and a Lovely face, and-and…come on!” Hux turned to crowd again “Had anyone seen Kylo Ren?!”

The crowd began shouting for Kylo again, when a handsome man came up from behind Hux and placed his hand on Hux’s shoulder.

“Did you say Kylo Ren? As in one of the Solos?”

“Yes!” Hux breathed. “You know him?”

“He’s the brother of my best friend!”

Hux whirled around, “Can you take me to his!?”

The man puffed up his chest, “Yes I can!”

The crowd burst into cheers. Poe grappled the handsome man by the face and kissed him, which made the crowd cheer louder.

“I’m Finn,” the man grinned, he took Poe by the hand, “follow me.”

“Anywhere,” Poe grinned and they took off running.

Hux followed, and all the teens began to ran after them into the night, cheering ‘Kylo’ over and over.

*** * *** * *** * ***

Kylo tapped his fork against his glass as he stood up, and everyone turned to him.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Kylo, Hans and Leia’s eldest son. Uh, I was the one who came in super late, and I feel really bad about that, so I thought it was only fair, and right, to give you all an explanation. Uh, I met a man today. I was standing under the clock in the downtown station when a man called Hux mistook me for his blind date. And, ah, instead of just saying “hey you got the wrong guy” like a normal person would,” he mumbled, “I thought it was a good idea to just pretend I was his date.”

Everyone gasped and began to chatter.

“No you didn’t!” Rey stated flatly.

“I did, I did.” Kylo laughed, and everyone else began to laugh and chuckle as well.

“But, we went out, and for the first time in ages I put myself out there, and I-I took a chance. Then Hux found out I wasn’t who I said I was…uh, a 24 year old tri-athlete, by the way. “

“Ugh” Leia groaned.

“24?” Hans asked.

“Yeah. So, he went off to meet his real blind date. So yeah, the end.”

“So, don’t be sad; I’m not sad.” Kylo rolled his eyes, “Ok, I am a bit sad. Uh, but I am also a bit proud of myself, because I learned to appreciate those I do have, who do love me.” He glanced at Rey and his parents. “and that I tried. No, it didn’t work out, but… I got a hint, of what could be out there for me.” He laughed and gestured to his parents. “A fun, loving, crazy, contradictory, long, happy life with someone; something these two have had since they have first laid eyes on each other 40 years ago. And, yeah,” Kylo sighed, “I know we have had our problems, but I’m glad we are the way we are now: closer, and a stronger family. So, please, join me in toasting them, and wishing them a very happy anniversary.” He raised his glass and swallowed hard. “...to my mom and dad, to Hans and Leia.”

Everyone toasted and drank from their glasses.

*** * *** * *** * ***

Hux couldn't’ believe how long they had been running, it seemed to be endless running and turning corners. He knew he was out of shape, but he was amazed at how tired he was and how energetic the teens seemed to still be. The handsome man, Finn, lead the crowd around another corner, and Hux saw Luke’s car. They all sprinted to the house.

*** * *** * *** * ***

Hans and Leia stood to hug Kylo.

“Thank you,” Leia sniffled. “You just keep going, my darling. You’ll get there in the end.”

“What a speech, you showed me up again.” Hans laughed.

Rey came up and joined the hug, “I’m sooo proud of you, Kylo!”

Luke joined the hug and Chewie began to run around them.

“So,” Hans began, “where is this ‘Hux’ now?”

Kylo was started by loud knocks on the window and loud voices. He turned to look and couldn’t believe his eyes. “…he’s at the window…”

“KYLO!!!” The teens and Hux all yelled as Hux knocked on the window repeatedly.

“Kylo!!” Hux yelled. “Kylo, it’s me!!” Hux yelled, and each time he said Kylo the teens would yell it back.

Hux growled in frustration. “You know what? I’m going in!”

Hux tried to open the window but it was too heavy, so Poe and Finn went to either side of him, forced it open, and Hux managed to climb in. He turned to lock the window so it would stay open, then a thought occurred to him,

“The window was open…” he mumbled to Finn and Poe. “That is very dangerous…”

He began to turn and was stunned silent. Everyone was staring at him as if he were an alien, and Kylo’s looked just as shocked as they were.

“I, uh, I’m sorry to intrude,” Hux began, “My name is Armatige Hux, it is a pleasure to meet you all: Ladies and gentlemen,” he turned to the window “uh, boys and girls...”

The crowd cheered.

“We’re college kids!” one boy yelled.

“Get em’, Geezer!” another laughed. The crowd cheered again, and Poe put an arm around Finn, they grinned encouragingly at Hux.

Hux laughed nervously as he turned away from the window. “...erm, and friends…and members of Kylo's family who I've never met before in my life.”

Hux ran a hand through his hair, but froze when he saw Luke. He chuckled darkly as he wagged a finger at him. “Except you, Uncle Luke. You, ah, you…I-I now realize that asking for your help was a mistake, seeing as you made the most stressful, terrorizing torture I have ever had to endure, and took me to the wrong direction. But hey, I listened to you; if this isn’t a grand gesture I don’t know what is.”

Luke shrugged.

“Stressful, terrorizing torture...” Kylo gapped. “My uncle Luke drove you somewhere?”

Hans visibly grimaced and Leia held her head in her hands, groaning. 

“Anyway,” Hux signed “Kylo, I came to…return what you forgot.”

“…what?” Kylo breathed, completely confused.

“You…you left. The bar. Without all your things. That’s very irresponsible, Kylo.”

Kylo narrowed his eyebrows. “You came here because I forgot some stuff? Why didn’t you leave it at the bar? Didn’t you have a date?”

“I did,” Hux nodded “and he was handsome enough, very well educated and mannered, much more put together than you are”

Everyone looked around, confused. Kylo looked ready to kill someone.

“and any other day,” Hux continued, “I would have stayed with him, asked him for another date, maybe even taken him home.”

The teens all whooped, Hans’s jaw dropped, Leia looked like she was about to kill Hux, and Kylo wanted to die.

“But not today; today I have to return to you what you forgot.” Hux began to hold out Kylo’s belongings as he listed them. “Your bag, your hoodie, your notebook…” He took a deep breath. “and…me.”

Everyone was dead silent, Kylo looked shocked again, so Hux figured he should continue.

“I met a man today, the wrong man, except he turned out to be the right man. And this man who took a chance on me in the most bizarre and romantic way possible wanted me to take a chance on him, but, erm,..I didn't, you know. I didn't. I blew it, like the stupid 40-year-old, mid-life-crisis dickhead that I am. Which is why I sought help from Mr. Luke Skywalker and ended up at this absolutely large, crazy college party.”

There was another large whoop from the college students followed by loud cheers. Everyone inside the house began to laugh from the ridiculousness of it all.

Hux pointed to the crowd outside. “But undeterred, I commandeered these brilliant young drunks, because nothing was gonna stop me from finding this man,” he looked directly into Kylo’s eyes. “and telling him what I should have told him earlier on.”

He stepped closer to Kylo. “Kylo, I am so bloody glad you pretended to be my date today, because, if you hadn't, then I never would've heard any of those amazing sex theories  
or... witnessed your highly competitive ass as you were about to get another strike, or” Hux took a deep breath. “fallen in love with you as you punched my ex in the face.”

Everyone gasped, some sighed and awed, and many of the drunk college kids cheered again.  
Kylo stared on with his shocked eyes as Hux continued. “In fact, if you hadn't have pretended to be my date today, my day would have been utterly rubbish.” Hux felt his whole-body heat as he tried to keep his voice steady; he took another deep breath. “And so, quite possibly, would have been the rest of my life.”

Now there was a collective ‘awww’ from in and outside of the house.  
Hux groaned. “Don't make those noises, I'm right on the edge.” He composed himself. “I…Phasma made me watch an exceptionally cheesy romcom with her once that had a bit of dialog that I actually think applies to me now. Kylo, I am still getting over my divorce, I don’t know how to put myself out there; I am ‘an emotional jigsaw’, if you will, and the only way I can begin to sort myself out is to look for ‘the blue bits’. I think you might be ‘the blue bits’, Kylo. So, please, what do you say? Quid pro quo?”

Everyone tore their eyes from Hux and turned to Kylo.

Kylo stood stunned for a few moments, his face torn. He slowly turned away, and picked up his glass from the mantel. He looked to Hux, “What…does it say in ‘Six Billion People and You?’”

“Oh.” Hux tuned to Rey and took her glass while giving an apologetic smile, “Sorry.”

He turned back to Kylo, who finally gave him a small smile. They made eye contact and held each other’s gave for another moment before they both raised their glassed, “ Fuck the past.”

Everyone in the house smiled and raise their glasses as well, “Fuck the past!” they all cheered.

Hux turned back to Rey and gave her back her glass. “Thank you. Excuse me.”  
He made his way over to Kylo.

“I’m so sorry,” Hux began, running his hand through his hair again. “I have been an utter ass-“

“Hux. Stop.” Kylo smirked as put his arms around Hux’s neck. “Hands. On ass.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at Kylo, confused. “What? My hands aren't on your ass..?”

Kylo smirked wide, and he looked positively devilish and sexy. “I know.”

Hux smiled like a fool, put his arms around Kylo’s waist, and pulled him in. They hesitated for a moment, looking into each other eyes before finally kissing each other. The crowd cheered and the absurdity and perfectness of the moment made them laugh between kisses. Kylo took Hux’s hands into his, grinned evilly, and started to drag Hux out of the room.

“Oh, I-“ Hux looked over his shoulder to Kylo’s parents “it was nice meeting you!”

The sounds of cheers from outside and the laughs and voices from the living room began to fade away as Kylo dragged Hux down a hallway and some turns. Suddenly he was swung into a bathroom, he heard the door close, and Kylo was on him. The grabbed at each other, kissed, licked, and gasped as they kissed hurriedly. 

Kylo pulled away slightly and grinned as Hux followed blindly. Kylo chuckled “So you like me, huh?”

Hux rolled his eyes “No, I loathe you. I can’t stand you. Why in the world am I locked in a bathroom, hands full or your ass, with you-“

“I love you too, asshole.”

Hux laughed as Kylo began to lazily nip at his lips. Hux could not believe he ever lived without this troublesome, sexy, problematic, overgrown child. Now, he never had to. He pushed back the nagging at the back of his mind that Phasma would soon be blowing up his phone with messages, asking for details, and focused on Kylo’s lips, tongue, ass, everything.

‘Later, Phasma’. He thought. ‘Kylo and I are entering Pronoland”.


End file.
